Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
