I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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