i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
