I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
