The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
