I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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