I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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