Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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