so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
