Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
