I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
