she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just had sex on a roof
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
