I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
