I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Randomize
