You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
