Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
