I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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