In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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