Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
