Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Can you bring me the toilet please
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
