Can i not drive my cunt home
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
