I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
