i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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