The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
