omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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