There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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