whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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