sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
