WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
