I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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