I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
