Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
