I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I am available for nakedness
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
