we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
