So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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