how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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