RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
