HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
