just tell him i said nine months
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
