I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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