life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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