so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
well, you know. whores of a feather.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
