Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
