You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
