Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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