Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
