He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
