took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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