Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
