He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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