Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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