Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
